how can i believe you. you aren't here.
How will i ever feel again?
he took all i had and then some.
my soul was putty in his hands
no reason other than i put it there.
i could have said no.
i could have been removed.
i would have been happier
i would have been safer.
i know that life is for living
every day is an experiment
for a power struggle and truth
without a safety net to rely upon.
i was naive, and believed him
every word he said to me
it was a dream i was living in
i loved him with my heart so.
he saw that and took me there
where he could have what he said
what he wanted and more
and when i cried he left me
step away from the love of a woman
who keeps her heart on the outside.
it makes for rough and tumble climbing
mountains that once scaled defy description
how will i believe you? i wont again
is it true what i see and feel here
or just another illusion of a man
taking what he feels he is entitled too.
yet i put the cynic to the side
and make room for the hope
waiting for the warmth of your sun
shining on my life giving it life.
and still they come like the minions
to gawk and stare at your exposure.
making a mockery of your love
in broad exposure and no remorse.
leave me in my cocoon, exit softly
for your love is nothing and nowhere.
it leaves a bitter taste to the needy.
and makes a mockery of my spirit.
my beauty awakens in its own time
with a life of its own, a picture there
do you deserve its passion or play
who is to say for sure. not me.
the time is fleeting for the winged
specimens that hold you to the light.
you have no soul for those in flight
leave them to the appreciative.
keep your hands out of the fire.
you have become the hunter
with a net and a flashlight trap
and a reason to mount your prey
make it momentous my love
make it a moment unfounded
for these are the only moments
you will hold for your lifetime.
" be careful how you bend me
be careful how you send me
be careful how you end me
be careful with me."
i trusted you. i trusted you.
how do fools live day to day?
i don't think they do.
i think they learn to live with tears.
as i have learned to live with mine.
he took all i had and then some.
my soul was putty in his hands
no reason other than i put it there.
i could have said no.
i could have been removed.
i would have been happier
i would have been safer.
i know that life is for living
every day is an experiment
for a power struggle and truth
without a safety net to rely upon.
i was naive, and believed him
every word he said to me
it was a dream i was living in
i loved him with my heart so.
he saw that and took me there
where he could have what he said
what he wanted and more
and when i cried he left me
step away from the love of a woman
who keeps her heart on the outside.
it makes for rough and tumble climbing
mountains that once scaled defy description
how will i believe you? i wont again
is it true what i see and feel here
or just another illusion of a man
taking what he feels he is entitled too.
yet i put the cynic to the side
and make room for the hope
waiting for the warmth of your sun
shining on my life giving it life.
and still they come like the minions
to gawk and stare at your exposure.
making a mockery of your love
in broad exposure and no remorse.
leave me in my cocoon, exit softly
for your love is nothing and nowhere.
it leaves a bitter taste to the needy.
and makes a mockery of my spirit.
my beauty awakens in its own time
with a life of its own, a picture there
do you deserve its passion or play
who is to say for sure. not me.
the time is fleeting for the winged
specimens that hold you to the light.
you have no soul for those in flight
leave them to the appreciative.
keep your hands out of the fire.
you have become the hunter
with a net and a flashlight trap
and a reason to mount your prey
make it momentous my love
make it a moment unfounded
for these are the only moments
you will hold for your lifetime.
" be careful how you bend me
be careful how you send me
be careful how you end me
be careful with me."
i trusted you. i trusted you.
how do fools live day to day?
i don't think they do.
i think they learn to live with tears.
as i have learned to live with mine.
Comments
please forgive my blatent self indulgence here. i am working through trust issues. men leave me in the dark over and over again. with inconsistent compassions. and blatent attempts at an easy fix to thier particular problem. partially my own fault.
my generalizations do not make up the whole. but one man i loved with my whole heart took me down a path i will be hard pressed to follow again. and i hate that. i breathe every day into the forgiveness of his ignorance. and the hope that others will not follow in suit. for their childrens sake.
i have yet to meet that man. in any form. i don't deny they exist. mine is but a hope and a belief.
my prayer has been recited. as weak as it is. it is mine. and i try to live life in peace for my son. and learn to forgive one breath at a time.
;-)
You deserve a great relationship with someone special. Keep that prayer up and going.
Stu