Timeline

When i was in the first grade on the chalkboard was a ruler, and a list of the numbers from 1 to 100. I memorized it. I had a photographic memory of it. i am not sure why this came into my head today. but as i remember that line, and the vivid numbers, there were areas that were grey. like chunks of time that had grey boxes around them. Now this was in my head. Not on the actual chart. As a child that meant nothing to me. it was just a way for me to remember the numbers and recall them. As i have been traveling through these numbers in terms of years, i can find where the grey areas are. What years i spent lacking one thing or another. Time spent in darkness. Times spent in light. what signifigance is this now!? Is it that i see a light patch and i am heading out of the grey numbers? i don't remember seeing any grey numbers in the lower 50's and on. Is this my time to shine? Or is it the time i have finally reached where the lessons are beaten into me and i have learned to make my heart sing? is it that i am going to die? is it that something new is here to stay? how long do we question the wisdom of predestiny? i have no doubts that my next move is the right one across many levels. it is too miracle ridden and freaky not to be the real deal.

so here we go a surfing again and again. i am ready to climb every mountain in my path to reach it. and you whomever you are. you loom around the perimeter. you light every once in awhile. and when i catch a glimpse of what it could be, i smile. and when i don't i smile too. all is right. all is well. all is now! and now is where i want to be. keep those smiles coming. its time for me to share mine. and it will come. as all good things do. in time.