That man i left

Last night, or was it this morning? Yes its another dream post my readers. I hope you don't mind reading what goes on in my head while i am in the subconscious realm. Doesn't matter anyway, because i am going to bestow you with the wonderment of yet another mental manifestation of dreamland.

As you know, i am a single mom. My child's father is not interested in me or the child one little bit! sigh. All the better i say. And this dream reminded me of it. Like i needed a reminder. Maybe that someone in my life is reminding me of him. Not yet determined. i actually woke myself up towards the end of the dream. It was that disturbing.

He had returned. Living close by to me, if not with me! Hard to determine from the scenes there. I was at home with the baby, and I was getting ready to go to work. He shows up with a blonde. Says they are working together. Have been for sometime. I know better, because hey, i know this guy. He always lied to save face! Or whatever reason he justified at that moment. From what i remember in the dream, he and i were not involved at that moment. But he wanted something from me. And didn't want me to know that he had this girl in his life. They obviously were having sexual relations, you could tell by the way they touched each other, and the way she was staring me down. Like she had any reason to be jealous of me. :Hearty Laugh Here: but he was pulling his same old tricks. Lovey dovey mister, all the while with a knife to my back ready to stab me in the heart! He was lying to my face. And he was telling her lies about me! I started to sweat and get an upset stomach. I remember looking at my dresser and getting out a suitcase. Started packing up all my belongings. Getting really angry with myself that i let him get to me!

Outcome: I woke myself up. Life is pretty crazy for me this month. And i am stressed out about a few things. One of them being money, and i am not bitter towards him and the fact that he doesn't acknowledge the child. I don't really care to have that emotional vampire in my life anymore. But i do think that something is reminding me of him, and i must purge that from my everyday!

Then again it is probably a once in a long while occurrence that will not happen again. He is missing out on something wonderful! And until that dream last night, i don't think about him at all! i did have a conversation with a relative explaining the situation, and that may be where it came from. I feel sorry for this new girl in his life though. He will be vague, distant, and unemotional. It is his pattern. It is his choice. And no longer my problem. Until i close my eyes a few nights in a year. Or two? Been that long. I just hope this doesn't mean he is going to try and contact me. I may have to resort to a restraining order if he does. I personally don't think he has the balls, nor the energy to pursue a mosquito. But he does drink a bit, and get a little off the deep end. That is another story all together.

Must go and play with the offspring who, Praise the genetic powers, looks nothing at all like his papa. More dreams to come, sweet readers.

More dreams to come. :wink:

Comments

Mermaid Melanie said…
Say it isn't so Jas, say it isn't so! I don't want him or need him.

sigh. it all comes around! it all comes around.

we should talk about this on the phone, maybe. i didn't get much of a chance to discuss your beliefs during thanksgiving!

more for our next visit. kiss the stressed out wife and smooth operater for me!
An Urban Femme said…
Maybe it's a living haunting. He will always be in your life no matter what and maybe that isn't how you want it to be.

You don't need him, Memmie. Soon your dreams will be filled with your new life in California.

*hugs*
edieraye said…
Perhaps it was more of a reminder - reminding you that you are in fact better off without him. And reminding you not to get hooked up with anyone remotely like him. Sometimes we forget how happy we are until our dreams remind us of what could be. Just my two cents.
Anica said…
:hug: and tons more hugs. Maybe that it that you are emerging as a butterfly. but the darkest hour is just before dawn (birth of yourself).

You don't deserve a man like that. and you will have a better man.

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